Spring is here!

Well today (give or take a few hours) is Ostara. And as much as I'd like to say that I know a lot about Sabbats....really I don't. For every piece of information I learn, there are millions more behind it. So I'm trying to take it one Sabbat at a time.

What is a Sabbat you say?

A Sabbat is basically a holiday. In Pagan culture there are 8; and are called the Wheel of the Year. Many of them mirror Christian holidays (or should I say that it's quite possibly the other way around?). 4 of the Sabbats fall on the Equinoxes: Yule (Winter Solstice), Ostara (Spring Equinox/Solstice), Litha (summer/midsummer Solstice), and Mabon (autumnal Solstice).
The other 4 celebrate other holidays such as Samhain (Halloween), Lughnassadh (Thanksgiving), Beltane (May Day), and Imbolc.

As I know it, Ostara marks the beginning of the beginning. This is when we start to prepare our gardens for planting. This is when the days and the nights equal, and soon the days will become longer. This is when color starts to appear in the world again. Ostara is the Pagan Easter, and celebrated for very different reasons, and boy is that a long story that I'm so not typing into here! But you can google Ostara if you'd like, and find many informative sites.

So to celebrate I'm going to build a small altar with some boiled eggs, flowers, seeds, rice and flowers. This is the time to celebrate renewals, starting over, preparing for the year to come.

We still celebrate Easter as a family, of course, but that's all chocolates, dying eggs and hunting for candy. This is my own private time, because I don't know about you, but I sure could use some rebirth....renewal....and to start over.

nothing new to report

Not really anyway. I seem to be going through that struggle...the usual one. I've been looking for a job for a long time now, and nothing is happening. A few close calls, but...nope. I'm having a hard time with my faith right now. Partly because I feel guilty. I feel like I constantly ask and ask and ask the Goddess to give and give and give. It's been a long time since I've given her anything in return.
At this point...even if I were to extend a thank you, an offering, I'm afraid it just wouldn't put a dent into everything she has already provided me with. How do you even start?

And of course I already know the answer to this. I just don't understand how I can allow myself to get stuck in such a rut again. Or how I let myself get hung up on all the guilt. Because I know the Goddess does not think ill of me for needing, but my selfishness must make her sad. It makes me sad. So, I will start looking into some offerings and rituals I can do for this upcoming full moon to start making up for it. I need to send out happiness and positive vibes so I can start getting those in return. All this negativity that I have surrounded myself with has gotten me nowhere. Plus, I know better than that. Everything I've been going through has been a culmination of all that I have sent out.

As a side note, I'm excited because my mom purchased The Celestine Prophecy. I've read it before, but have not owned my own copy of it. If you have not read it, I HIGHLY recommend it. You may not agree with all that it says, but there are some good insights to energy and how it all works. Since having read it, I now view karma as working in a similar way. It also teaches you how to visualize how you are treating others and how they are treating you. It really is an awesome book.

Well, that is it for now. Sorry its been so long. I plan on working on a new offering to the Goddess (probably in the form of plants or seeds as we are coming into Spring soon). I'll post some results on here and let you know how it all turns out.

K

Just a quick note...

I plan on coming back soon, I promise. I've just been in a 'funk'.

I have much to go into. One thing is a dream I keep having. About Erika and I starting a local Pagan "Church". Of course...part of that dream involves winning the lottery as well...LOL.

So until then, here is another blog of mine:

http://dirtywench.livejournal.com

Also

I'm tossing around the idea of forming a 'coven'. I put that in quotes because I'm not really thinking of anything quite so formal. Just like minded individuals getting together for...well who knows! But I would like some other people to enjoy at least the equinoxes with.

Anybody out there interested? Any level, or lack of, knowledge is accepted, just the ability to have an open mind... is welcome!

Not Pagan related....

I do have another blog, one that is just my meager ramblings. If you're interested, please check it out.

In peace and love.

http://dirtywench.livejournal.com/

I'm baaaaack!

I was about to say that I couldn't believe I haven't blogged since February...but really, I can. I finally graduated with my Associated of Science in Paralegal studies in June. Whew!

*wipes sweat from brow*

Now I am unemployed, and actually contemplating on doing some writing. I'm sure I'll give it a try, but it remains to be seen if I have any actual talent. I might post a little here to get some feedback. Or I might not.

Anyhoo...seeing as how it is summer, and I missed posting for the solstice, I thought I would post some oft requested spells and rituals. These are from a book I recently obtained called "The Good Spell Book: Love Charms, Magical Cures and Other Practical Sorcery".

If you have any questions, let me know. I'll answer them as best as I can.

Love:

To Entice Love

*This is a spell that can be used to attract love or draw a lover closer. You should start this on the night of a NEW moon. (Google it!)

Take a salt shaker and a pepper shaker and designate one female and the other male. Then take a piece of pink ribbon and tie the female shaker to one end and the male shaker to the other. Make sure to leave about a foot of ribbon between them.

Every morning, untie the ribbon, move the shakers a little closer together, and retie the knots.

Eventually the salt and pepper shakers will touch. leave them bound together for seven days before untying them. By this time, love should have entered your life or your current partner should have drawn closer.


MONEY

*a very well known ritual in the community, and has actually worked. Just make sure you really have a need for the money, and don't just want it for greedy purposes. Remember...what you send out is returned to you 3 fold.

Find a small dish or bowl that you will use for only this purpose. Every morning, starting with a New Moon, (meaning the morning of a new moon, not the morning after), place 3 coins of any amount into the dish and repeat:

Trinka Five, Trinka Five,
Ancient spirits come alive.
Money grow, Money thrive,
Spirit of the Trinka Five.

*you can also just say Trinka Five 3 times, but I think the full ritual works better*

Repeat for at least seven days. The money should start coming in fairly shortly...however it can take some time. Have patience...the Universe will fulfill and recognize your NEEDS. I always make sure that I do not take the coins out until after the following full moon.

HOME PROTECTION

Great little things you can do to give your home extra spiritual protection. The best way to protect a person or thing from harm is to meditate and imagine them being surrounded by a bright white light. As bright as you can make it, for as long as possible, and imagining them healthy and well, safe and protected.

*Sprinkle salt around the perimeter of your house.

*You can also plant garlic around the boundary of your home.

*Pray for a circle of gold light for protection, and a circle of blue light for healing to be placed around your home.

*Disruptive neighbors who upset the harmony of your home can be easily tamed. Place small hand mirrors on windowsills facing the disruptive neighbors home. These reflect back whatever they are sending you if you say "Return to Sender". If there is no anger attached to your actions, your neighbors will respond to your influence without realizing why.

*To deter an unwanted visitor, all you need is some salt. Immediately after they have left, sprinkle the salt on the ground where they said goodbye.

****Salt is a well known purifier and protection against evil forces****


Thats it for now. Again, I'm available to answer any questions...and might even be able to take requests for certain needs.

moving on

At some point, you just have to.

It's storming outside, and I love nothing better than a good storm. I think there is nothing more cleansing than a great storm, washing away stagnant energy.

I always seem to be surrounded by stagnant energy. It's the kind of energy that surrounds you when you are refusing to see what is in front of you, when you are refusing to make a change in your life that seems to be nothing but the inevitable. It's like avoiding the obvious. With blinders.

I've had many experiences in my life that have lead me to paganism. And many more that have done nothing other than confirm my beliefs. I was always a very intuitive child, curious and assertive. I remember understanding situations more than I should have, at a very young age. I always had a sense of knowing, and was told many times that I have an 'old soul'. Even by people that I had never met before. Even at the age of 10 I could sit with a group of adults, content having conversations with them about things that were usually of little interest to young children.

I've met some interesting people in my travels. I think about the people that have come into my life, some very temporarily...maybe meeting them once or twice. I think that each person we meet in our lives is someone meant to be there, even for that short period of time. It was a random person I met one time that told me about astral projecting...something I've been known to do on occasion. There was another that described to me what an empath is, and how they knew that was where my abilities lie.

EMPATH: a person who can feel the emotions of other animate (living) entities, such as human, plant or animal. Some include inanimate objects as well under this word.

I think when I was heavy into palm reading this is the reason I did so well. Not necessarily that I read palms as much as I read people. I was such a strong empath at one point that it is actually what caused me to astral project. Maybe I'll tell that story first. It's the most clear cut one that started the path that lead me to study and learn paganism.

When I was 14, the summer before my freshman year in high school, I picked blueberries as a 'job'. It was my first job. My best friend Sara started it, and convinced me to do it with her. I went to my parents, who told me that I wouldn't last a week, let alone the whole summer. My parents knew me too well (or they really thought I wouldn't make it) because boy did I have to prove them wrong! I'd get up at 5:15 AM, walk 15 blocks to the bus stop, and ride 2 different buses up to Leaburg where I picked blueberries from 7 am until 3:30 pm. Then 2 more bus rides home, another 15 block walk, and I'd get home at 5. I did this every day...all summer. (except the one day that I missed for being stung by a bee....my foot was so swollen!)
But I digress...

So this one night, probably around mid-july, I had what I thought was a crazy dream. In my dream I am sitting in a tree, formless, watching the side of a house. I was facing towards the back yard, and could see inside a window of the house. Inside the window all I could see was what I assumed to be a little girl sleeping, because I saw blonde pigtails lying on a bed. That was it. I sat there for what seemed like hours, with the feeling that I was waiting for something. After a while had passed I noticed what looked like a shadow moving. It came from around the back of the house, creeping towards the window. To me it looked like one of those figures from the movie Ghost, the ones that take the 'bad guys' souls after they died.

Anyway he slinked up to the window, which was open about 2 inches. Then he turned to me, and even though it had nothing but eyes, I could feel it looking at me, and smiled at me. My formless body shivered. Not only did it see me, but it saw right through me. Then he pushed the window open, and crawled into the room. Once in the room he turned around, looked at me again, and opened the window all the way. I was really confused...why would he open it instead of closing it?

Then he turned around, and all I could see was that he laid right on top of the little girl. I gasped, and tried to make a bunch of noise, but I didn't seem to have any ability to speak or yell, or even shake the tree I was in (but not really in, if you know what I mean). I suddenly woke up, sweating, and a scream sitting in my throat. I turned to look at the time, and it was exactly 3:52 in the morning. (In some pagan sects 3 am is the true witching hour).

My heart was pounding, and I felt a bit freaked. So I laid back down and eventually was able to snooze a little bit before getting up for another day at the blueberry patch. Once Sara got on the bus I told her all about my weird 'dream'...and we both puzzled over it for a good part of the morning.

That night, instead of taking my usual shower, I sat talking to my dad while he watched the news. The news caster (Rick Dancer...who just ran for office btw) was talking about the latest in a series of rapes to happen in the Gateway area of Springfield. All I heard was something about a 7 year old girl who had been raped and almost strangled early in the morning. Then he said "Around 3:30-4 am her parents were woken up by a strange sound outside. They thought it was the girls cat wanting in, but when her mother opened the girls bedroom door she was shocked to find a man on her daughters bed strangling her. She yelled something at him, and he literally flew out the window. The 7 year old is in serious but stable condition at Mckenzie-Willamette Hospital". I just stared at the tv, unbelieving. And then...they showed a school picture of the little girl (why...I don't know).

She had blonde hair and pigtails.

I sat down hard. And just stared. Then I made some weird excuse to my dad and went to take my shower. Covered in blueberries I freaked out in the shower, knowing it was more than a coincidence. I called my friend Sara, who decided we needed to do some research on it. And we did.

This was also the same period of time that my mom was 'church shopping'. Meaning that we would go to random churches so that she could try them on for size. I went to youth leaders, pastors, whoever you name it, and told my stories. The most I got was "It was nothing, forget about it" or "It was god's will". For a (I'd like to consider myself) smart 14 year old, that was all just a bunch of crap. Sara and I were already dabbling in candle magic, and getting ourselves into more than we knew, but could not figure it out. I still didn't, until I was 18 and graduated from high school. I worked late nights at Taco Bell, and had a frequent customer who would come in and chat with me (some weird older guy), who asked me one day about my religious background. I told him that I knew little about the bible, and thought it was a crock of shit. He laughed, and asked me a few random questions that I don't remember. Somehow this story ended up coming out, and he looked at me for a minute or so, then explained what astral projection is. I was astounded, and told him that if it is true, than I've done it many times before. He told me that many people can do it on command, but others (like me) can only do it when a situation is strong enough that it calls for it.

I think that due to my background that I was such a strong empath (14 was a ROUGH age for me) and so strong that for some reason something in me picked up in something in that little girl. I can't say, and won't, that I was a reason for the situation ending, and her being safe. I think I was meant to witness what happened, knowing she wouldn't be alone. But on the other end, I think it also marked me. I've had many other experiences that have been MUCH less than pleasant, and someday when I have the balls I'll tell one of those.

Eventually I have cut off so much of my energy that it is difficult to do any empath work, let alone a palm reading. It's a lot of energy to open yourself up to others, and even more to close it down. Learning that skill is what has saved my sanity, I think. I've seen things that to me now sounds silly, but knowing full well it is anything but. I spend a lot of my time now surrounding myself, my house and my family with as much white and bright energy as I can, hoping to save those around me from the things I have seen. But I believe I am marked, and it makes me a target for many, many beings out there that are not human.

So I leave this for you, dear readers, to read into it as you wish. It's hard telling these stories, harder than I realized until now. I should say harder to type these stories, as at least in verbal communication I can gesture my meanings.

Comments and questions and stories of your own are more than welcome. Maybe someday I'll work my way up to what happened in my first apartment. That one was so bad that I didn't go home for a week, and didn't stay in there alone for a few months.

Until then, blessed be my friends.