Spring is here!

Well today (give or take a few hours) is Ostara. And as much as I'd like to say that I know a lot about Sabbats....really I don't. For every piece of information I learn, there are millions more behind it. So I'm trying to take it one Sabbat at a time.

What is a Sabbat you say?

A Sabbat is basically a holiday. In Pagan culture there are 8; and are called the Wheel of the Year. Many of them mirror Christian holidays (or should I say that it's quite possibly the other way around?). 4 of the Sabbats fall on the Equinoxes: Yule (Winter Solstice), Ostara (Spring Equinox/Solstice), Litha (summer/midsummer Solstice), and Mabon (autumnal Solstice).
The other 4 celebrate other holidays such as Samhain (Halloween), Lughnassadh (Thanksgiving), Beltane (May Day), and Imbolc.

As I know it, Ostara marks the beginning of the beginning. This is when we start to prepare our gardens for planting. This is when the days and the nights equal, and soon the days will become longer. This is when color starts to appear in the world again. Ostara is the Pagan Easter, and celebrated for very different reasons, and boy is that a long story that I'm so not typing into here! But you can google Ostara if you'd like, and find many informative sites.

So to celebrate I'm going to build a small altar with some boiled eggs, flowers, seeds, rice and flowers. This is the time to celebrate renewals, starting over, preparing for the year to come.

We still celebrate Easter as a family, of course, but that's all chocolates, dying eggs and hunting for candy. This is my own private time, because I don't know about you, but I sure could use some rebirth....renewal....and to start over.

nothing new to report

Not really anyway. I seem to be going through that struggle...the usual one. I've been looking for a job for a long time now, and nothing is happening. A few close calls, but...nope. I'm having a hard time with my faith right now. Partly because I feel guilty. I feel like I constantly ask and ask and ask the Goddess to give and give and give. It's been a long time since I've given her anything in return.
At this point...even if I were to extend a thank you, an offering, I'm afraid it just wouldn't put a dent into everything she has already provided me with. How do you even start?

And of course I already know the answer to this. I just don't understand how I can allow myself to get stuck in such a rut again. Or how I let myself get hung up on all the guilt. Because I know the Goddess does not think ill of me for needing, but my selfishness must make her sad. It makes me sad. So, I will start looking into some offerings and rituals I can do for this upcoming full moon to start making up for it. I need to send out happiness and positive vibes so I can start getting those in return. All this negativity that I have surrounded myself with has gotten me nowhere. Plus, I know better than that. Everything I've been going through has been a culmination of all that I have sent out.

As a side note, I'm excited because my mom purchased The Celestine Prophecy. I've read it before, but have not owned my own copy of it. If you have not read it, I HIGHLY recommend it. You may not agree with all that it says, but there are some good insights to energy and how it all works. Since having read it, I now view karma as working in a similar way. It also teaches you how to visualize how you are treating others and how they are treating you. It really is an awesome book.

Well, that is it for now. Sorry its been so long. I plan on working on a new offering to the Goddess (probably in the form of plants or seeds as we are coming into Spring soon). I'll post some results on here and let you know how it all turns out.

K

Just a quick note...

I plan on coming back soon, I promise. I've just been in a 'funk'.

I have much to go into. One thing is a dream I keep having. About Erika and I starting a local Pagan "Church". Of course...part of that dream involves winning the lottery as well...LOL.

So until then, here is another blog of mine:

http://dirtywench.livejournal.com