nothing new to report

Not really anyway. I seem to be going through that struggle...the usual one. I've been looking for a job for a long time now, and nothing is happening. A few close calls, but...nope. I'm having a hard time with my faith right now. Partly because I feel guilty. I feel like I constantly ask and ask and ask the Goddess to give and give and give. It's been a long time since I've given her anything in return.
At this point...even if I were to extend a thank you, an offering, I'm afraid it just wouldn't put a dent into everything she has already provided me with. How do you even start?

And of course I already know the answer to this. I just don't understand how I can allow myself to get stuck in such a rut again. Or how I let myself get hung up on all the guilt. Because I know the Goddess does not think ill of me for needing, but my selfishness must make her sad. It makes me sad. So, I will start looking into some offerings and rituals I can do for this upcoming full moon to start making up for it. I need to send out happiness and positive vibes so I can start getting those in return. All this negativity that I have surrounded myself with has gotten me nowhere. Plus, I know better than that. Everything I've been going through has been a culmination of all that I have sent out.

As a side note, I'm excited because my mom purchased The Celestine Prophecy. I've read it before, but have not owned my own copy of it. If you have not read it, I HIGHLY recommend it. You may not agree with all that it says, but there are some good insights to energy and how it all works. Since having read it, I now view karma as working in a similar way. It also teaches you how to visualize how you are treating others and how they are treating you. It really is an awesome book.

Well, that is it for now. Sorry its been so long. I plan on working on a new offering to the Goddess (probably in the form of plants or seeds as we are coming into Spring soon). I'll post some results on here and let you know how it all turns out.

K